Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
Ohhh, I've always hated this one!! (Even when they call them "challenges.")
1. Insecurity. I like myself. I really do. I just never know if others like me. For real like me. Which is somewhat crazy. And, like most people, I hate being judged. So, I find myself holding back. Just keeping my mouth shut, or trying to blend in, so that I don't have to deal with the hurt feelings that come with someone's harsh judgments. Which all points out how insecure I am.
2. Laziness. Given the choice of lying on the couch, watching mindless TV or cleaning, I will choose TV 9 times out of 10. Or reading. Or blogging. Or Facebook. Anything besides cleaning.
3. Codependency. I have a tendency toward being codependent. It stems from my childhood and I have a pretty good handle on it, but still struggle from time to time.
4. Jealousy. I try really hard not to let this one come out, but I am quite capable of being jealous. And not just in a romantic scenario. I find myself envious of my siblings because they all live near each other now - when they post fun things they've done together, my heart tings and I get jealous. Or when Wayne goes out with his friends and they have a great time, I'm a little jealous that I wasn't there to share in the fun. (Although, I go out without him, too.) But I wanted to be there, with him, when he was having fun. It's really silly of me and I don't let it get in the way of anything, but it is definitely there.
5. Lack of self-discipline. It's why I can't be self-employed. At a job, I feel a sense of obligation and urgency in completing my tasks - people are counting on me. Plus, they're paying me to do xyz, so I better get it done. But on my own, I find reasons why I don't want/have to do things. Which is why having a gym buddy and/or personal training sessions work so well for me - someone is counting on me to be there, so I get there.
Many... listing your faults is exhausting and somewhat depressing. I guess you can't work on them if you don't acknowledge them, though.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Typical Day (Day 12 of 30)
Describe a typical day in your current life.
I am currently on vacation, but when at home, our typical day goes something like this:
Wake up around 7/7:30, argue with Jack about waking up, get ready and finally head out the door around 8. We go to the gym (when he's not in school), run errands, have playdates/brunch/lunch dates, and finally end up at home in time for "quiet time." (That's where Jack watches TV in the family room and I semi-unconsciously watch TV in the living room.) Before I know it, it's time to start dinner and do a little picking up. Somewhere in there, I fit in blogging, FB, bill paying, menu planning, calling to make doctor's appointments, grocery list writing, and social calendar planning. Oh - and ovulation calculations. Ha!
After dinner, Jack starts getting ready for bed - shower/bath, stories, etc. After he goes to bed, Wayne and I watch TV. And start laundry we suddenly remember we need washed before the next morning. We have been trying to go to bed around 10, but it's usually more like 12 by the time we're actually asleep.
I'd like to say I feel super productive at the end of the day, but I rarely do. I feel like most of the day slipped by without me noticing. But I have a happy kid and a happy husband, so I really can't complain.
I am currently on vacation, but when at home, our typical day goes something like this:
Wake up around 7/7:30, argue with Jack about waking up, get ready and finally head out the door around 8. We go to the gym (when he's not in school), run errands, have playdates/brunch/lunch dates, and finally end up at home in time for "quiet time." (That's where Jack watches TV in the family room and I semi-unconsciously watch TV in the living room.) Before I know it, it's time to start dinner and do a little picking up. Somewhere in there, I fit in blogging, FB, bill paying, menu planning, calling to make doctor's appointments, grocery list writing, and social calendar planning. Oh - and ovulation calculations. Ha!
After dinner, Jack starts getting ready for bed - shower/bath, stories, etc. After he goes to bed, Wayne and I watch TV. And start laundry we suddenly remember we need washed before the next morning. We have been trying to go to bed around 10, but it's usually more like 12 by the time we're actually asleep.
I'd like to say I feel super productive at the end of the day, but I rarely do. I feel like most of the day slipped by without me noticing. But I have a happy kid and a happy husband, so I really can't complain.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Pet peeves (Day 11 of 30)
Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
1. Crazy drivers. Especially when I have my child in the car. And then the crazy person decides to flip me the finger as she races past me.
2. Unprofessionalism. I realize you're getting paid less than minimum wage to take my order and serve my food, but YOU chose this job. Make the best of it. Trust me, you'll make more in tips if you quit being a douche to your customers and stop complaining about your job within earshot. (And this also applies to people talking about their hangovers, partying, baby daddies/mamas, and other personal business.)
3. Flaking. I realize things come up, but I make every effort to do what I say I'll do. I have had to bow out of plans; we all do. But when it happens again and again... I suspect you think it'll be "okay" with me. It's not.
4. Lying. Even tiny little "white lies." It pisses me off, hurts my feelings, and generally makes me regard you as someone I should probably avoid. I don't care if you're trying to spare my feelings - just tell me the truth. I am hypersensitive to lies, so I almost always know anyway. (Most of you are terrible liars, anyway.)
5. Questioning my parenting choices. I am trying my hardest to do the best thing for my kid. So, if I say he can't have anymore sugar for the day, I have reasons - you may not understand them, but I don't care to justify myself. And I'm sick to death of people thinking they know best. You are not his mom or dad, so I really don't care that you disagree with me. A treat every now and then is fine. But when the kid has diarrhea and stomach aches... yeah, he feels better after a while, but that's no reason to dump more crap into his system. The only person who has a right to discuss how I parent my child is my husband. (And even he knows better. Haha!)
6. The belief that all Christians (of any denomination) are uber conservative, right-wing, close minded, uneducated freaks. I'm not. I am Christian. I believe in God and Jesus. I have found answers to many of my life questions in the Bible. I have grown as a person, a parent, a wife, a daughter, a sibling and a friend since I have begun studying the Bible. I turn to God when I have a blessing or a problem. But that doesn't mean I believe gays are going to hell. Or that I'm now a Republican. (The change of heart on the gun issue you can blame on my gun-loving husband. Haha!) I still like to have a drink. I still like to have fun. Any prude-like behaviors came on as a result of having my son - long before we started attending church. And as far as uneducated goes, most of the Christians I know have at least a Bachelor's degree.
7. Smoking around my kid. (Or any kids...) I grew up with smoker parents. My dad and stepmom quit when I was fairly young. My mom and stepdad still smoke to this day. It bothered me a lot, especially in the car. Now that I'm a grown up, I get really irritated with people who smoke in their homes or cars but especially if they have kids. The damage being done to their little lungs is just sad. But it's gross - even if you're outside, and a kid is around, he is breathing that in. Just walk away. And if you're going to be around my kid, try to wash off the smoke smell when you do come back in. He'll tell you if you stink. haha!
8. Competitive parenting. I'm pretty sure I blogged about this a while back. It still irks me. Luckily, most of the parents I hang with don't do this. But if you've ever been around a one-upper, you know what I mean. Only it's magnified. Because now, the one-upper isn't just saying you're not good enough - he/she is implying your kid is less than awesome. And, let's face it, we all want to think our kid is the most awesome of the awesome kids. Which is... awesome. But when you let it get out of control, that's your own ego talking. And that's definitely not going to do you or your kid any good.
**Note: this definitely does not mean don't praise your kid in front of me or tell me what an awesome job he/she did on her test, karate, dance recital, etc. Just when you start assigning genius status to your kid while we're discussing everyday things kids do... well, let's just say I am pretty sure you're a little biased.
9. Backseat cheffing. This is when someone is in the kitchen while you cook and decides to throw in little "helpful hints." Such as, "you may want to turn the heat up/down on that," or "don't you think you should slice/dice that a little smaller/bigger?" And my favorite, "are you sure you want to do that?" If I do want to do any of the above, I will. I am making this meal and you should just be happy to have me cooking for you. So, shut it, and go peel those potatoes for me, would you?
10. Belittling my opinion. It's fine if you disagree with me, but if you try to come off like I must be stupid to think the way I do, you come off as a douche. I am definitely not stupid. So, to repeat myself, shut it. Or I just won't talk to you anymore.
1. Crazy drivers. Especially when I have my child in the car. And then the crazy person decides to flip me the finger as she races past me.
2. Unprofessionalism. I realize you're getting paid less than minimum wage to take my order and serve my food, but YOU chose this job. Make the best of it. Trust me, you'll make more in tips if you quit being a douche to your customers and stop complaining about your job within earshot. (And this also applies to people talking about their hangovers, partying, baby daddies/mamas, and other personal business.)
3. Flaking. I realize things come up, but I make every effort to do what I say I'll do. I have had to bow out of plans; we all do. But when it happens again and again... I suspect you think it'll be "okay" with me. It's not.
4. Lying. Even tiny little "white lies." It pisses me off, hurts my feelings, and generally makes me regard you as someone I should probably avoid. I don't care if you're trying to spare my feelings - just tell me the truth. I am hypersensitive to lies, so I almost always know anyway. (Most of you are terrible liars, anyway.)
5. Questioning my parenting choices. I am trying my hardest to do the best thing for my kid. So, if I say he can't have anymore sugar for the day, I have reasons - you may not understand them, but I don't care to justify myself. And I'm sick to death of people thinking they know best. You are not his mom or dad, so I really don't care that you disagree with me. A treat every now and then is fine. But when the kid has diarrhea and stomach aches... yeah, he feels better after a while, but that's no reason to dump more crap into his system. The only person who has a right to discuss how I parent my child is my husband. (And even he knows better. Haha!)
6. The belief that all Christians (of any denomination) are uber conservative, right-wing, close minded, uneducated freaks. I'm not. I am Christian. I believe in God and Jesus. I have found answers to many of my life questions in the Bible. I have grown as a person, a parent, a wife, a daughter, a sibling and a friend since I have begun studying the Bible. I turn to God when I have a blessing or a problem. But that doesn't mean I believe gays are going to hell. Or that I'm now a Republican. (The change of heart on the gun issue you can blame on my gun-loving husband. Haha!) I still like to have a drink. I still like to have fun. Any prude-like behaviors came on as a result of having my son - long before we started attending church. And as far as uneducated goes, most of the Christians I know have at least a Bachelor's degree.
7. Smoking around my kid. (Or any kids...) I grew up with smoker parents. My dad and stepmom quit when I was fairly young. My mom and stepdad still smoke to this day. It bothered me a lot, especially in the car. Now that I'm a grown up, I get really irritated with people who smoke in their homes or cars but especially if they have kids. The damage being done to their little lungs is just sad. But it's gross - even if you're outside, and a kid is around, he is breathing that in. Just walk away. And if you're going to be around my kid, try to wash off the smoke smell when you do come back in. He'll tell you if you stink. haha!
8. Competitive parenting. I'm pretty sure I blogged about this a while back. It still irks me. Luckily, most of the parents I hang with don't do this. But if you've ever been around a one-upper, you know what I mean. Only it's magnified. Because now, the one-upper isn't just saying you're not good enough - he/she is implying your kid is less than awesome. And, let's face it, we all want to think our kid is the most awesome of the awesome kids. Which is... awesome. But when you let it get out of control, that's your own ego talking. And that's definitely not going to do you or your kid any good.
**Note: this definitely does not mean don't praise your kid in front of me or tell me what an awesome job he/she did on her test, karate, dance recital, etc. Just when you start assigning genius status to your kid while we're discussing everyday things kids do... well, let's just say I am pretty sure you're a little biased.
9. Backseat cheffing. This is when someone is in the kitchen while you cook and decides to throw in little "helpful hints." Such as, "you may want to turn the heat up/down on that," or "don't you think you should slice/dice that a little smaller/bigger?" And my favorite, "are you sure you want to do that?" If I do want to do any of the above, I will. I am making this meal and you should just be happy to have me cooking for you. So, shut it, and go peel those potatoes for me, would you?
10. Belittling my opinion. It's fine if you disagree with me, but if you try to come off like I must be stupid to think the way I do, you come off as a douche. I am definitely not stupid. So, to repeat myself, shut it. Or I just won't talk to you anymore.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Most embarrassing moment (Day 10 of 30)
Describe your most embarrasing moment.
Ahhh. There are so many from which to choose!! I do a lot of embarrassing things. I fall down, I say the wrong thing, I do something unintentionally goofy... But none of it really makes a lasting impression on me - I end up laughing at myself. Because, really? We ALL do embarrassing things. It's in our nature. And if I were take them all seriously, I'd be a mess. Well, more of a mess than I already am.
Here's a story that simultaneously makes me laugh til I wanna pee and cringe because I feel bad:
My friend, E, had moved recently to our town. In getting to know her, she admitted that while she loved her some God, she felt a little smothered by her religion back in her hometown. Don't get me wrong - she is a deeply religious person. And she loved her church family. She was just going through a little bit of a change and trying to find the right fit for their new life. I dubbed her a "recovering Baptist."
One evening, E accompanied me to a home sales party. (I believe it was home decor being sold, but can't really remember.) Somehow, the hostess, her friend, and E got on the subject of the Duggar family and Arkansas. The hostess asked if there were many Mormons in Arkansas. (She mistakenly believed the Duggars to be Mormon.) E told her she attended a Baptist church in Arkansas but now attended First Christian. I quickly jumped in with our little joke and piped up, "E's a recovering Baptist!"
...
...
The hostess replies, "I am Baptist."
I was mortified. I felt so badly for insulting her religion. I had no right and was very much in the wrong. I know plenty of people who have/do attend Baptist churches and they are great people. There's nothing wrong with being Baptist. Just like there's nothing wrong with being Catholic, yet my husband and I will sometimes joke about his childhood religion.
The rest of the evening is a blur. I remember finally getting to my car, and E and I dissolving into laughter. Mind you - we were laughing at ME, shoving both feet into my mouth, at the home of a woman I barely knew. I've seen her out in town a few times, but she either has decided to ignore me or truly doesn't remember me. I can only hope it is the latter and that she didn't dwell on my idiocy and lack of judgement.
Ahhh. There are so many from which to choose!! I do a lot of embarrassing things. I fall down, I say the wrong thing, I do something unintentionally goofy... But none of it really makes a lasting impression on me - I end up laughing at myself. Because, really? We ALL do embarrassing things. It's in our nature. And if I were take them all seriously, I'd be a mess. Well, more of a mess than I already am.
Here's a story that simultaneously makes me laugh til I wanna pee and cringe because I feel bad:
My friend, E, had moved recently to our town. In getting to know her, she admitted that while she loved her some God, she felt a little smothered by her religion back in her hometown. Don't get me wrong - she is a deeply religious person. And she loved her church family. She was just going through a little bit of a change and trying to find the right fit for their new life. I dubbed her a "recovering Baptist."
One evening, E accompanied me to a home sales party. (I believe it was home decor being sold, but can't really remember.) Somehow, the hostess, her friend, and E got on the subject of the Duggar family and Arkansas. The hostess asked if there were many Mormons in Arkansas. (She mistakenly believed the Duggars to be Mormon.) E told her she attended a Baptist church in Arkansas but now attended First Christian. I quickly jumped in with our little joke and piped up, "E's a recovering Baptist!"
...
...
The hostess replies, "I am Baptist."
I was mortified. I felt so badly for insulting her religion. I had no right and was very much in the wrong. I know plenty of people who have/do attend Baptist churches and they are great people. There's nothing wrong with being Baptist. Just like there's nothing wrong with being Catholic, yet my husband and I will sometimes joke about his childhood religion.
The rest of the evening is a blur. I remember finally getting to my car, and E and I dissolving into laughter. Mind you - we were laughing at ME, shoving both feet into my mouth, at the home of a woman I barely knew. I've seen her out in town a few times, but she either has decided to ignore me or truly doesn't remember me. I can only hope it is the latter and that she didn't dwell on my idiocy and lack of judgement.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Influential people (Day 9 of 30)
List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
1. My dad. We didn't have the best relationship, growing up. I was a stubborn, willful child. I didn't like to be told what to do unless I'd been given a rational explanation. (As a parent now to the same kind of child, I see how frustrating that can be!) Add to that a natural resistance to emoting on his part, and an abundance of emotion on mine, things got uncomfortable. Let's say I had "daddy issues" for some time. His influence colored the way I saw men for some time. And not all bad - he was never a cheater or a drinker. I never put up with too many shenanigans from any man because of my dad.
2. My mom. When I was a kid, she was such a hippie. Not in an unbathed way. But she was the first person who told me love can't be wrong. I think I've made a lot of decisions in my life based on what my heart says - some good, some bad, but all the right decision at the time.
3. My stepdad, JD. He was so much fun. And, as a teen, he helped Mom and I navigate our relationship. But mostly what he influenced was my sense of truth. He has a sense of honor and integrity that I hope I live up to and can instill in Jack.
4. My stepmom. She made our home, in many senses of the word. She kept the house looking nice - not just clean, but well decorated; did our laundry, baked delicious chocolate chip cookies, and made the world's best fried chicken - all with 4 kids and one income. When I look around my house, I want to know it's as well kept as Mom's.
5. My good friend, Judy. I worked with Judy in California and then in Texas. She has kids my age, but she has been my friend for years. Judy taught me a lot about a lot. She knows so much about etiquette and the finer things in life. I'd still be eating crappy food and drinking cheap alcohol, if it weren't for her influence.
5b. An Army vet, my husband has different views on the world than I do. He tends to think I have a rose-colored view of the world. I think his is colored by too much negativity. (Would that be gray??) Wayne has helped me become a little more grounded and realistic.
6. My friends, Dan and Dyana. (They're married so they count as one, right?) During a difficult time, Dan and Dyana were there to help me navigate the many questions I had in regards to Christianity. Dyana never balked at any of the questions I had. Dan gave amazingly objective advice. Neither of them judged me. Not once. It's because of them that I began to see that I could be a Christian and not have to be hypocrite or a stereotype.
7. Wayne, again. (Yes, he gets two slots - he's influenced me that much!!) My husband's love is completely steady and unwavering. Being loved that way has helped me come a long way in terms of insecurity. I can now accept myself for who I am and know he'll always be there - no matter who else lets me down.
8. My sister, Riann. She is passionately committed to fairness and equality. Seeing Riann take a stand on issues has helped me to see that we can make a difference. Even when her sense of fairness and objectivity (when I'm complaining about a loved one) can make me nuts! (Because she's right but I want to be mad. LOL)
9. My sister, Rachael. I'm not done figuring out how she's influenced me - but knowing her, and losing her, has definitely shaped my life.
10. My friend, Kel. What can I say? I can literally say nothing, and Kel will understand what I mean. That kind of friendship has helped me to grow and become more aware of who I am and who I want to be. She's like my friend-therapist - only with lots of laughing. (And only a little crying.)
1. My dad. We didn't have the best relationship, growing up. I was a stubborn, willful child. I didn't like to be told what to do unless I'd been given a rational explanation. (As a parent now to the same kind of child, I see how frustrating that can be!) Add to that a natural resistance to emoting on his part, and an abundance of emotion on mine, things got uncomfortable. Let's say I had "daddy issues" for some time. His influence colored the way I saw men for some time. And not all bad - he was never a cheater or a drinker. I never put up with too many shenanigans from any man because of my dad.
2. My mom. When I was a kid, she was such a hippie. Not in an unbathed way. But she was the first person who told me love can't be wrong. I think I've made a lot of decisions in my life based on what my heart says - some good, some bad, but all the right decision at the time.
3. My stepdad, JD. He was so much fun. And, as a teen, he helped Mom and I navigate our relationship. But mostly what he influenced was my sense of truth. He has a sense of honor and integrity that I hope I live up to and can instill in Jack.
4. My stepmom. She made our home, in many senses of the word. She kept the house looking nice - not just clean, but well decorated; did our laundry, baked delicious chocolate chip cookies, and made the world's best fried chicken - all with 4 kids and one income. When I look around my house, I want to know it's as well kept as Mom's.
5. My good friend, Judy. I worked with Judy in California and then in Texas. She has kids my age, but she has been my friend for years. Judy taught me a lot about a lot. She knows so much about etiquette and the finer things in life. I'd still be eating crappy food and drinking cheap alcohol, if it weren't for her influence.
5b. An Army vet, my husband has different views on the world than I do. He tends to think I have a rose-colored view of the world. I think his is colored by too much negativity. (Would that be gray??) Wayne has helped me become a little more grounded and realistic.
6. My friends, Dan and Dyana. (They're married so they count as one, right?) During a difficult time, Dan and Dyana were there to help me navigate the many questions I had in regards to Christianity. Dyana never balked at any of the questions I had. Dan gave amazingly objective advice. Neither of them judged me. Not once. It's because of them that I began to see that I could be a Christian and not have to be hypocrite or a stereotype.
7. Wayne, again. (Yes, he gets two slots - he's influenced me that much!!) My husband's love is completely steady and unwavering. Being loved that way has helped me come a long way in terms of insecurity. I can now accept myself for who I am and know he'll always be there - no matter who else lets me down.
8. My sister, Riann. She is passionately committed to fairness and equality. Seeing Riann take a stand on issues has helped me to see that we can make a difference. Even when her sense of fairness and objectivity (when I'm complaining about a loved one) can make me nuts! (Because she's right but I want to be mad. LOL)
9. My sister, Rachael. I'm not done figuring out how she's influenced me - but knowing her, and losing her, has definitely shaped my life.
10. My friend, Kel. What can I say? I can literally say nothing, and Kel will understand what I mean. That kind of friendship has helped me to grow and become more aware of who I am and who I want to be. She's like my friend-therapist - only with lots of laughing. (And only a little crying.)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Passions (Day 8 of 30)
What are 5 passions you have?
There aren't many things I'm passionate about these days. I seem to have lost my edge! (And wow - these questions are kind of like therapy!) Perhaps it's because I got tired of fighting for the things I was passionate about; because I am tired of it not mattering to others...
1. My son. The amazing, hilarious, brilliant Jackalope. I am, of course, passionate about him. My eyes tear upon hearing praise for him from strangers. He owns my heart. Or at least half of it...
2. My husband, of course. I am passionate about being a good wife to him - loving him, being his biggest fan, being everything he needs and wants me to be, and helping him to be the best he can be.
3. My extended family - my sisters, my brother, my sisters-in-law, my beautiful little nieces, and, of course, my parents.
4. My friends. I love my friends and want to do everything I can to help them in their life journeys. I'm learning that doesn't mean I can always fix things or should do everything.
5. Equality. One of the biggest things that upsets me is inequality, of any kind. I don't care what your excuses are. "I was raised that way." "I think it's wrong." "My religious/non-religious beliefs..." Whatever. Shut up. Everyone should be allowed to live their lives in in peace. Who are you to tell someone it's wrong? Who are you to use hurtful words or judge someone based on their skin color, race, religion or sexual identity? Who are you to so obnoxiously force your opinions on us all? None of us are any better than the other. We're all just flawed people trying to live our lives and be our best selves.
There aren't many things I'm passionate about these days. I seem to have lost my edge! (And wow - these questions are kind of like therapy!) Perhaps it's because I got tired of fighting for the things I was passionate about; because I am tired of it not mattering to others...
1. My son. The amazing, hilarious, brilliant Jackalope. I am, of course, passionate about him. My eyes tear upon hearing praise for him from strangers. He owns my heart. Or at least half of it...
2. My husband, of course. I am passionate about being a good wife to him - loving him, being his biggest fan, being everything he needs and wants me to be, and helping him to be the best he can be.
3. My extended family - my sisters, my brother, my sisters-in-law, my beautiful little nieces, and, of course, my parents.
4. My friends. I love my friends and want to do everything I can to help them in their life journeys. I'm learning that doesn't mean I can always fix things or should do everything.
5. Equality. One of the biggest things that upsets me is inequality, of any kind. I don't care what your excuses are. "I was raised that way." "I think it's wrong." "My religious/non-religious beliefs..." Whatever. Shut up. Everyone should be allowed to live their lives in in peace. Who are you to tell someone it's wrong? Who are you to use hurtful words or judge someone based on their skin color, race, religion or sexual identity? Who are you to so obnoxiously force your opinions on us all? None of us are any better than the other. We're all just flawed people trying to live our lives and be our best selves.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Dream job (Day 7 of 30)
What is your dream job, and why?
Oh, my!! This is a question I have pondered again and again! Throughout my life, I've had so many different dreams. As a child, I wanted to be a teacher or a mom. In my teens, I went through a fame stage that I fed through Drama classes and clubs; a life on stage is what I wanted. In my junior and senior years, I decided on teaching. I loved little kids. Until I worked in daycare my first year of college. Haha!
When I was 20, I worked at a resort in Panama City Beach, as a front desk clerk, and talked to the event planner there. Maybe that experience planted a seed that I didn't realize was there. For the next several years, I worked for various companies but always in the finance or accounting departments. (While I always got good grades in Honors math classes, I got my credits out of the way ASAP. I hated math!) Eventually, I decided I wanted to go into corporate event planning. I loved being a part of the various morale boosting, informational, and other events within corporations. The first step was a project coordinator (administrative assistant) position within my current accounting department. I was so proud of myself for making the leap from accounting to admin. I was talking to my mentor about getting a degree that would help me move forward, and about how to move up into corporate event planning.
Then, we had baby Jack and moved to Arizona for Wayne's work. Since then, I've had very little desire to work. I've thought about party planning, but then I see how awesome other people are at it and realize I've got nothing on them. I really believe I'm best suited to administrative roles - organizing, scheduling, helping people get what they need and want. In the world of employment, the perfect job for me is administrative assistant. My "dream" job would be heiress to a fortune. Haha!
In real life, my dream job is the one I have - keeping my family organized, scheduled and giving them what they need; my dream job is mom and wife.
Oh, my!! This is a question I have pondered again and again! Throughout my life, I've had so many different dreams. As a child, I wanted to be a teacher or a mom. In my teens, I went through a fame stage that I fed through Drama classes and clubs; a life on stage is what I wanted. In my junior and senior years, I decided on teaching. I loved little kids. Until I worked in daycare my first year of college. Haha!
When I was 20, I worked at a resort in Panama City Beach, as a front desk clerk, and talked to the event planner there. Maybe that experience planted a seed that I didn't realize was there. For the next several years, I worked for various companies but always in the finance or accounting departments. (While I always got good grades in Honors math classes, I got my credits out of the way ASAP. I hated math!) Eventually, I decided I wanted to go into corporate event planning. I loved being a part of the various morale boosting, informational, and other events within corporations. The first step was a project coordinator (administrative assistant) position within my current accounting department. I was so proud of myself for making the leap from accounting to admin. I was talking to my mentor about getting a degree that would help me move forward, and about how to move up into corporate event planning.
Then, we had baby Jack and moved to Arizona for Wayne's work. Since then, I've had very little desire to work. I've thought about party planning, but then I see how awesome other people are at it and realize I've got nothing on them. I really believe I'm best suited to administrative roles - organizing, scheduling, helping people get what they need and want. In the world of employment, the perfect job for me is administrative assistant. My "dream" job would be heiress to a fortune. Haha!
In real life, my dream job is the one I have - keeping my family organized, scheduled and giving them what they need; my dream job is mom and wife.
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Hardest Thing (Day 6 of 30)
What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
My sixteen year old sister, Rachael, died of a drug overdose on April 1 of this year. I don't think I can rehash it all right now but you can read about it here.
My sixteen year old sister, Rachael, died of a drug overdose on April 1 of this year. I don't think I can rehash it all right now but you can read about it here.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Happiness (Day 5 of 30)
What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
***Note: I did this wrong, wrong, wrong. I read it as "5 things that WOULD make you most happy..." I am not pregnant. I want the things below. I don't have them yet. Sorry for the confusion!!***
1. Being able to spend time with my extended family.
2. Having financial security; in other words, having the means to pay off our loans/credit cards/cars, having a nice safety net of a savings account, getting our retirement accounts in order, etc. (Yes, in this sense, money can buy happiness.)
3. Finding the motivation I began the year with - in regards to getting healthier and getting my house organized.
4. Being pregnant.
5. A nice grassy green backyard and a pool to sit by.
And 5 things that DO make me most happy right now:
1. Laughing with my husband. I do love how much we can make each other laugh.
2. Seeing Jack come out of his shy little shell more and more!
3. Having a clean house!! After the yard sale yesterday, Wayne and I did some serious cleaning and the house looks amazing! (Except the office, which is my next project!)
4. Blogging.
5. Knowing that I have made lasting friendships. There are always ups and downs. (Some more dramatic than others.) But the relationships are there to stay.
***Note: I did this wrong, wrong, wrong. I read it as "5 things that WOULD make you most happy..." I am not pregnant. I want the things below. I don't have them yet. Sorry for the confusion!!***
1. Being able to spend time with my extended family.
2. Having financial security; in other words, having the means to pay off our loans/credit cards/cars, having a nice safety net of a savings account, getting our retirement accounts in order, etc. (Yes, in this sense, money can buy happiness.)
3. Finding the motivation I began the year with - in regards to getting healthier and getting my house organized.
4. Being pregnant.
5. A nice grassy green backyard and a pool to sit by.
And 5 things that DO make me most happy right now:
1. Laughing with my husband. I do love how much we can make each other laugh.
2. Seeing Jack come out of his shy little shell more and more!
3. Having a clean house!! After the yard sale yesterday, Wayne and I did some serious cleaning and the house looks amazing! (Except the office, which is my next project!)
4. Blogging.
5. Knowing that I have made lasting friendships. There are always ups and downs. (Some more dramatic than others.) But the relationships are there to stay.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Dear Jenna (Day 4 of 30)
List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
1. You are adorable!
2. You are smart.
3. You are funny.
4. You are NOT fat.
5. You will be fine!
6. Start saving your money now. It will set a precedent that you'll be grateful for later.
7. Pay attention to what your parents are trying to teach you. (Especially the home maintenance/building/yard stuff!)
8. Don't waste too much time on people who treat you like crap. A good friend will not use you or put you down.
9. Again - save money now!!
10. Don't worry so much about whether or not you fit in. Be yourself - you're awesome!
1. You are adorable!
2. You are smart.
3. You are funny.
4. You are NOT fat.
5. You will be fine!
6. Start saving your money now. It will set a precedent that you'll be grateful for later.
7. Pay attention to what your parents are trying to teach you. (Especially the home maintenance/building/yard stuff!)
8. Don't waste too much time on people who treat you like crap. A good friend will not use you or put you down.
9. Again - save money now!!
10. Don't worry so much about whether or not you fit in. Be yourself - you're awesome!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Sooo Not Meant To Be
I am obviously not meant to be a pet owner. I am way too emotional about it. Even when I had my cat, when she'd go in for shots and get freaked out, the vet would ask me to leave the room because MY emotions were too much. (Today, the vet was worried I was going to pass out.)
Then came Sophie. Our perfect little Yorkie-Chihuahua mix. I loved her soooo much. But, she got into some dental floss Jack had played with and ate it. It ended up killing her. I was inconsolable. Hysterical when I had to tell the vet it was okay to put her down. (The damage to her intestines was too much.)
And yet, I agreed to get two more pups. The cutest little Schnauzer-Papillon mixes. Pepper, a blonde, was named for Pepper Potts of IronMan fame. I named the dark one Paisley, because I like the alliteration. The name is one I love but knew Wayne'd never let me use for a baby (should we ever have a girl).
Between the dog hair on every surface, the digging in the backyard, and the constant play fighting, they've been driving me nuts. But, I kept thinking, it's okay - we'll get them trained and it'll be okay.
Until today. They both went in for their spay on Wednesday. Paisley got her soft collar (to prevent licking at the incision) off and ripped herself open while I was gone for 30 minutes. Her omentum was coming out of the incision. Trust me when I say that is not something anyone ever needs to see. I flipped out, called Wayne, and called the vet clinic where we had the surgeries done. In the meantime, she got blood everywhere. (More freaking out on my part ensued.) Wayne came home and helped me take her to the vet. She cost over $100 there, and will be another $100 at the clinic where the original surgery was done. (At our vet, it'd have been around $600 to fix her.)
As much as I love them (and it's not as much as I loved Sophie), I can't do it anymore. The worrying. The having to be home all the time. Having to get up early in the morning (or in the middle of the night) because they're crying. Even listening to their whining is wearing on me. The outrageous amounts of money we spend on them for the best dog food (Wellness Small Breed Puppy - $16 for a bag that lasts 2 weeks), dog toys, bones, treats (also Wellness), crates, beds (Pepper's was $55 because she likes to eat beds and this one is indestructible), groomer, and, of course, vet visits.
Aside from the money, though, is the stress. Finding another thing they've torn up. Worrying if they'll get sick from it. Worrying about them getting out of the backyard. Trying to find someone to check on them if we want to go to Tucson for the day, or paying to have them kenneled if we're gone for a weekend.
Given how hard it is for me to be happy on a daily basis right now, I just cannot take the stress anymore. And don't even get me started on how emotional I am about it all! It's amazing how much I've cried today, considering how annoyed I am with Paisley most days.
I am just not equipped to deal with being a pet mommy. It's hard enough for me to keep the house clean and be a kid's mommy. (Not that I have any of the above issues with Jack... well, the whining has got to stop. LOL) So, we're re-homing the puppies. And it's curious to find that I feel shame at that. I guess I just don't want to let anyone down - human or not.
Then came Sophie. Our perfect little Yorkie-Chihuahua mix. I loved her soooo much. But, she got into some dental floss Jack had played with and ate it. It ended up killing her. I was inconsolable. Hysterical when I had to tell the vet it was okay to put her down. (The damage to her intestines was too much.)
And yet, I agreed to get two more pups. The cutest little Schnauzer-Papillon mixes. Pepper, a blonde, was named for Pepper Potts of IronMan fame. I named the dark one Paisley, because I like the alliteration. The name is one I love but knew Wayne'd never let me use for a baby (should we ever have a girl).
Between the dog hair on every surface, the digging in the backyard, and the constant play fighting, they've been driving me nuts. But, I kept thinking, it's okay - we'll get them trained and it'll be okay.
Until today. They both went in for their spay on Wednesday. Paisley got her soft collar (to prevent licking at the incision) off and ripped herself open while I was gone for 30 minutes. Her omentum was coming out of the incision. Trust me when I say that is not something anyone ever needs to see. I flipped out, called Wayne, and called the vet clinic where we had the surgeries done. In the meantime, she got blood everywhere. (More freaking out on my part ensued.) Wayne came home and helped me take her to the vet. She cost over $100 there, and will be another $100 at the clinic where the original surgery was done. (At our vet, it'd have been around $600 to fix her.)
As much as I love them (and it's not as much as I loved Sophie), I can't do it anymore. The worrying. The having to be home all the time. Having to get up early in the morning (or in the middle of the night) because they're crying. Even listening to their whining is wearing on me. The outrageous amounts of money we spend on them for the best dog food (Wellness Small Breed Puppy - $16 for a bag that lasts 2 weeks), dog toys, bones, treats (also Wellness), crates, beds (Pepper's was $55 because she likes to eat beds and this one is indestructible), groomer, and, of course, vet visits.
Aside from the money, though, is the stress. Finding another thing they've torn up. Worrying if they'll get sick from it. Worrying about them getting out of the backyard. Trying to find someone to check on them if we want to go to Tucson for the day, or paying to have them kenneled if we're gone for a weekend.
Given how hard it is for me to be happy on a daily basis right now, I just cannot take the stress anymore. And don't even get me started on how emotional I am about it all! It's amazing how much I've cried today, considering how annoyed I am with Paisley most days.
I am just not equipped to deal with being a pet mommy. It's hard enough for me to keep the house clean and be a kid's mommy. (Not that I have any of the above issues with Jack... well, the whining has got to stop. LOL) So, we're re-homing the puppies. And it's curious to find that I feel shame at that. I guess I just don't want to let anyone down - human or not.
My Parents (Day 3 of 30)
Describe your relationship with your parents.
Whew. Where do I begin? I've written and deleted this several times already. Let's say it's complicated but I love them very much. And they love me. All 5 of them - Mom, stepdad JD, Dad, stepmom (Sue/Mom), and stepmom Candy. (She may be the newest one but she loves me. Haha!)
Whew. Where do I begin? I've written and deleted this several times already. Let's say it's complicated but I love them very much. And they love me. All 5 of them - Mom, stepdad JD, Dad, stepmom (Sue/Mom), and stepmom Candy. (She may be the newest one but she loves me. Haha!)
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Fears (Day 2 of 30)
Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
1. One of my biggest fears right now is losing someone I love. Obviously, that fear became more pronounced after my 16 year old sister died of an overdose. But it's to the point that I can't let anyone be mad at me... For example, yesterday, Wayne and I had a very little tiff. Just a normal, overtired, stressed, married couple kind of bickering. But when he went to leave for work, I cried because I had to make it right... just in case.
2. I fear trusting the wrong person. I've done it too often in the past, and gotten hurt. So now, if I feel someone is breaking my trust, I become anxious. And if I have to trust someone (ie leaving Jack with a babysitter), I have anxiety.
3. I fear financial failure. This has to come from a multitude of things. I've come close and been saved by the grace of God. I've seen family members go through it. And, most importantly, I'd feel I was letting my husband down. While he's working and going to school, one of my jobs is to handle the bills and the finances. We're both spenders by nature, so it's a tough job. As soon as I think I have a handle on things, and we can start truly saving and planning for the future, something comes up. Always. We need to get the air conditioner fixed. We need to replace the original 1959 windows on the house. Medical expenses. Holiday expenses. Whatever. I am truly, truly thankful we've always seemed to figure it out, but I live in fear of the day we no longer can.
Well... that was a downer on a Thursday morning. Ha! Now, I've got two puppies recovering from spay surgery, a boy who needs delivered to VBS, and an ever-growing pile of junk to organize into a yard sale! Hope everyone has a great day! :)
1. One of my biggest fears right now is losing someone I love. Obviously, that fear became more pronounced after my 16 year old sister died of an overdose. But it's to the point that I can't let anyone be mad at me... For example, yesterday, Wayne and I had a very little tiff. Just a normal, overtired, stressed, married couple kind of bickering. But when he went to leave for work, I cried because I had to make it right... just in case.
2. I fear trusting the wrong person. I've done it too often in the past, and gotten hurt. So now, if I feel someone is breaking my trust, I become anxious. And if I have to trust someone (ie leaving Jack with a babysitter), I have anxiety.
3. I fear financial failure. This has to come from a multitude of things. I've come close and been saved by the grace of God. I've seen family members go through it. And, most importantly, I'd feel I was letting my husband down. While he's working and going to school, one of my jobs is to handle the bills and the finances. We're both spenders by nature, so it's a tough job. As soon as I think I have a handle on things, and we can start truly saving and planning for the future, something comes up. Always. We need to get the air conditioner fixed. We need to replace the original 1959 windows on the house. Medical expenses. Holiday expenses. Whatever. I am truly, truly thankful we've always seemed to figure it out, but I live in fear of the day we no longer can.
Well... that was a downer on a Thursday morning. Ha! Now, I've got two puppies recovering from spay surgery, a boy who needs delivered to VBS, and an ever-growing pile of junk to organize into a yard sale! Hope everyone has a great day! :)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
20 Random Facts (Day 1 of 30)
List 20 random facts about yourself
I'll start by saying I generally run out of things by #5, but I'll give it my best. Also, I'm just going to post whatever pops into my head...
1. I'm short. There are a lot of shorties out there but for some reason, my shortness seems to be a point of interest for a lot of people. (Maybe it's because I hang out with tall people?) I'm 5' 3/4". Hahahaha!!
2. I love Ace Perry Hard Cider. But I just found out it's NOT actually made with any pears! Only apples! False advertising with the sweet little pears on the label? Maybe. But I don't care. I love it.
3. I was 16 when I had my first "real" boyfriend.
4. My first "real" kiss was due to a game of Truth or Dare. And I cried when I was truly kissed for the first time, at age 17.
5. I have loved boys since I was 7 years old. Honestly. Never went through that "boys are icky" stage.
6. As a teenager, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.
7. I watch WAY too much television. But, on vacation, I never miss it. So...
8. When our contract with Dish is up in October, we're saying bye-bye to satellite and just using Netflix and Hulu when we want to watch something.
9. Real Housewives (on Bravo) may be over the top but are relatable in their emotions, problems with friends and family, and day to day drama. Ours is on a much smaller scale, but it's there. That's why the shows are so popular!
10. I am 5 years older than my husband... but he looks 5 years older than me!
11. I want to have another child. And I'm really hoping for a girl. ;)
12. Most of the time, I don't want to go back to work. Being a mom and a wife IS my full time job now.
13. I got a sewing machine for Christmas that I have yet to take out of the box. (And I begged for it.)
14. I don't actually hate cleaning. I hate the monotony of cleaning. It's fine if I have someone here to talk to while I do it!
15. I'm finding this easier than I thought I would!
16. I have been a smoker for 21 years. But I quit when I was pregnant with my son and I quit again just 3 weeks ago.
17. All of my jobs have been in the financial field, yet I hate doing math.
18. I'd love to write a book, but whenever I start, I get distracted and can't finish.
19. I tell everyone I want to move back to Texas. And I do. But I also wouldn't mind living on the East coast, on the beach, or up North. Basically, anywhere but the desert.
20. I am working hard on being me all the time; on not holding parts of me back out of fear; and on overcoming my insecurities.
Whew! That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be! :)
I'll start by saying I generally run out of things by #5, but I'll give it my best. Also, I'm just going to post whatever pops into my head...
1. I'm short. There are a lot of shorties out there but for some reason, my shortness seems to be a point of interest for a lot of people. (Maybe it's because I hang out with tall people?) I'm 5' 3/4". Hahahaha!!
2. I love Ace Perry Hard Cider. But I just found out it's NOT actually made with any pears! Only apples! False advertising with the sweet little pears on the label? Maybe. But I don't care. I love it.
3. I was 16 when I had my first "real" boyfriend.
4. My first "real" kiss was due to a game of Truth or Dare.
5. I have loved boys since I was 7 years old. Honestly. Never went through that "boys are icky" stage.
6. As a teenager, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.
7. I watch WAY too much television. But, on vacation, I never miss it. So...
8. When our contract with Dish is up in October, we're saying bye-bye to satellite and just using Netflix and Hulu when we want to watch something.
9. Real Housewives (on Bravo) may be over the top but are relatable in their emotions, problems with friends and family, and day to day drama. Ours is on a much smaller scale, but it's there. That's why the shows are so popular!
10. I am 5 years older than my husband... but he looks 5 years older than me!
11. I want to have another child. And I'm really hoping for a girl. ;)
12. Most of the time, I don't want to go back to work. Being a mom and a wife IS my full time job now.
13. I got a sewing machine for Christmas that I have yet to take out of the box. (And I begged for it.)
14. I don't actually hate cleaning. I hate the monotony of cleaning. It's fine if I have someone here to talk to while I do it!
15. I'm finding this easier than I thought I would!
16. I have been a smoker for 21 years. But I quit when I was pregnant with my son and I quit again just 3 weeks ago.
17. All of my jobs have been in the financial field, yet I hate doing math.
18. I'd love to write a book, but whenever I start, I get distracted and can't finish.
19. I tell everyone I want to move back to Texas. And I do. But I also wouldn't mind living on the East coast, on the beach, or up North. Basically, anywhere but the desert.
20. I am working hard on being me all the time; on not holding parts of me back out of fear; and on overcoming my insecurities.
Whew! That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be! :)
30 Days
In an effort to blog every day, to let everyone get to know me better, and to really stretch my writing muscles, I'll be doing the challenge I found on Jill's blog. I've skimmed through the 30 things on the list but haven't really read each one. It will be more of a challenge this way. I have seen a couple that worry me (eek!) because I'll have to get really serious and discuss things I normally don't delve into. I'll be starting with #1 today.
Copied from Jill:
FROM THE BLOG: http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com
To spice things up a little this month I will be posting something random about myself each day {or close to each day, I'll try my hardest!}, according to the following list of questions I have conjured up. The idea is to record different parts of my personality for my posterity, and I guess you get to know me better by default. I think this'll be super fun and I invite you to play along! I would LOVE to read what you have to say about yourself in regards to these questions, and get to know you better, too. This could potentially be very hilarious.
THE LIST:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
Copied from Jill:
FROM THE BLOG: http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com
To spice things up a little this month I will be posting something random about myself each day {or close to each day, I'll try my hardest!}, according to the following list of questions I have conjured up. The idea is to record different parts of my personality for my posterity, and I guess you get to know me better by default. I think this'll be super fun and I invite you to play along! I would LOVE to read what you have to say about yourself in regards to these questions, and get to know you better, too. This could potentially be very hilarious.
THE LIST:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
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