First a bitch and now an asshole...

I think Wayne is rubbing off on me. I never used to just blurt things out without thinking about my audience or who I might offend. Even if they were funny as hell...

So, last night, I went to a "Southern Living at Home" party... you know, where you're presented with items and catalogs and encouraged to buy things. Unfortunately, these things were out of my league price-wise, and to be completely honest, not really my style. Although, I did see a gorgeous shower curtain - but at $80, I just can't justify buying it. Well, this party was the consultant's first - she was both saleslady and hostess. She's a new member of my mommy group and I wanted to be supportive. Erin and I went to maybe meet some new people, look at pretty things, and have a good time.

At first, it was a bit stilted and awkward. We didn't know them, they didn't know us, we didn't have much to say. Then, things got rolling and we were doing really well... until I became the blathering idiot who doesn't think before she speaks. Somehow, the conversation had become about the Duggars and their religion (Mormon was what everyone thought, but I looked and they're actually Independent Baptists) and location (Arkansas, Erin's former homestate).

Hostess: Oh, there aren't many Mormons in Arkansas, are there?
Erin: Hm. Well, I don't really know. I don't guess so.
Hostess: But there ARE a lot of Baptists!
Asshole (formerly known as ME): Hahaha! Oh yeah. Erin's a recovering Baptist! Hahahaha!
....
(Insert cricket noises and awkward looks between Hostess and Hostess's friend.)
....
Hostess: I'm a Baptist.
Erin: Oh, well I LOVE being a Baptist, we just haven't found any Baptist churches here that we really like. We've been to several churches, and they've all been great. I think we really like...

The nervous babble about churches went on for several minutes while I simply shut down. Literally, in my head, I repeated, "I'm such an asshole. I can't believe I just did that. What kind of asshole comes to a person's house and makes fun of her religion when she doesn't even KNOW her? Asshole! Such an asshole! I am SO getting blacklisted from the Mommy group. Gah! Asshole!"

Thankfully, Hostess is a very nice person... and Erin's constant stream of babble covered what would have been a pretty horrible silence. She just kept talking until Hostess joined in and things went back to normal. I literally almost bought a $26 (plus tax & shipping) gravy boat in a fit of guilt.

When we left, Erin and I got into my car and BURST out laughing. It was that uncontrollable, it's probably not that funny to anyone else but we just can't stop laughing about it kind of laughter. (In fact, our husbands didn't see how it was funny or offensive when we relayed the story to them.)

Ahhh. Good times, good times.