No, I haven't left my husband. I have, however, for the first time ever in my life, had to end a friendship. You know what they say about the truth - it usually lands somewhere in the middle of two stories. And I'm sure it applies to the issues that occur in relationships. I am certainly not perfect but I do know I try as hard as I can to be a good friend. And, shockingly, not everyone likes me! But when I've become so close with someone and it all goes sour, it's very very hard for me to believe this is the end.
There have been too many hateful things said and done. Too many letdowns. Too much drama and stress. When it gets to a point where you're unhappy more than you're happy, it's time to let go. Right? That's the "healthy" thing to do.
But DAMN it's freaking hard. My stomach hurts, my heart is racing, I feel sad and shaky and uncertain. All I can think about are the good times. All the reasons for the "break up" escape me and I hate that it probably (maybe?) hurts the other person just as much as it does me. Or maybe more because I've been thinking about it and knew it would most likely come to this end.
My nature is to fight as hard as possible to hold on to the people I love. But loving someone doesn't make them the best match for you. Sometimes, you love what is bad for you - like bacon and heavy cream and deep fried anything. And as hard as this is, as much as I'm second guessing myself, I believe it's better in the long run. There've been too many fights. Too many bad words. Too little understanding.
This will hurt for a long time...
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