Okay, I know I said my next blog would explain my panic re: possibly moving to my beloved, adopted homestate of Texas, but my internet scouring sister found this article and I just HAD to write about it (because what I have to say about it wouldn't fit into a FB post):
Beware the Husband Hunter
It's unfortunately, infuriatingly very very true. Since I've gotten married I've witnessed more than my fair share of women who scandalously, shamelessly chase after married men. And what the hell? I mean, I know it's rough out there for single girls. But it feels like something more, and something infinitely less scary, than these chicks (aka WhoreFaces) digging my cute, funny, smart husband. It seems... predatory and competitive. Like, "hey, guess what? I know he's happily married to you and y'all have this awesome kid and seem to get along really well and have fun, but watch this! I bet I can get him to flirt with me. To hug me. I wonder, really, just how far I can take this."
Why is that less scary, you ask? Because if they were truly in love with him and wanting him for healthy, sane reasons, that scares me more than some idiot bimbo drawing hearts on his paperwork or inappropriately hugging him at every turn. And seriously? Am I truly threatened by WhoreFace shouting she "hearts" him right in front of me, my bff and our children? Ummm. No. Because she's stupid. And one of the things my husband absolutely does NOT like is stupidity.
But aside from my own personal grievances with the sheer inappropriateness of her behavior (however stupid and pitiful), there's the bigger picture. What is wrong with women like this? Did their mothers not teach them it's inexcusable, not to mention downright disgusting, to poach another woman's husband? Has the term "home wrecker" taken on a new, cool meaning I'm unaware of? Like phat or sick?
I'm extremely lucky to be married to someone secure enough in himself to not be swayed by the pathetic attempts of these emotionally scarred girls. He sees through them - sometimes without even seeing them at all. So, though the behavior itself annoys and irritates me, I don't feel it necessary to confront the WhoreFaces. They are not worthy of my time or attention, and I certainly do NOT need to feed their pathetic bids for attention. I am offended by the inappropriateness of their behavior but mostly feel sorry for them. I hope they find a better, healthier way to boost their self-esteem.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Changes
I'm sitting on my couch in my pretty, comfy little living room... the front door is wide open to the sunshiny, breezy weather outside. I can see my "Spring" wreath and the ribbons on it fluttering in the breeze. The mesquite tree in the front yard is full of pretty green leaves. The birds are singing away. Jack is playing nicely in his playroom.
It should be a moment of total peace and happiness. But all I want to do is cry because it's very likely we'll be leaving this place in just a few months. (Weeks for Wayne.) I'm not sure if it's the thought of how much hard, hard work is ahead - packing up the house, cleaning up the yard, making the house "show ready" - and keeping it that way. Maybe it's the thought of starting all over in a new town - making new friends, finding new playmates for Jack, finding a house, getting a new routine. But the part that makes my throat tighten and my eyes fill up is thinking about leaving my friends. Which, when said out loud (or typed), feels a bit juvenile. However, the truth is the truth. And I've been in this very situation so many times before. Moving away, making promises to stay friends... saying how it's so easy these days - phone calls, Facebook, emails... it'll all ensure our friendship stays the same, right? But it won't. It never does. You lose touch, you get busy, you move on with your life and as much as you try to keep in touch, it's never quite the same because everyone changes with time and even the smallest change can impact the way you interact with one another, the way your friendship works. Not that I'm giving up - I never give up on my friends.
I'm sad about leaving my Erin. We met when she came out to visit her husband last year - he'd moved here to start a new job while she stayed back in Arkansas to sell their house. (Sound familiar?) When we left his little BBQ, I told Wayne, "I really liked Erin. I'm not sure but I think we could be good friends." I'd been in this little self-imposed shell for a long time. Depressed and disinterested in really making any friends. Not myself at all. But Erin moved here and we had a little gathering to welcome her and her kids to this mountainous desert-land. It was the beginning of my dive back into the world of socializing. I remembered who I was and what I love - having lots of friends around, throwing parties, being a social butterfly. We did that instant click thing when she moved here for good - that feeling of "hey - I know you. You're my friend." Having Erin as my friend helped me regain myself and encouraged me to get more active in the playgroup I'd joined for Jack. Suddenly, the moms who'd seemed distant and disinterested were speaking to me more. I was hosting parties at my house and making friends with all kinds of different people. Some of them I'd met before, but being in my insular little depressed bubble, I'm positive I'd given them no reason to be friends with me. I'm sure I seemed distant and disinterested - more so than I viewed those moms to be in the playgroup.
I think I've laughed more in the last year with Erin... done more... been more... than in the first two years I lived here. She's not only inspired me to get back out there but also to keep my house cleaner, my budget tighter, and my creativity sparkier. (I know, but I had to do an "er" word!) I've made jewelry and wreaths and cooked/baked things like never before. I know it's not ALL the miracle of Erin Layne - but it's because I'm happy and fulfilled and inspired. A big part of that is having a friend who understands how I feel before I finish my sentence. Who just GETS me. It's awesome and, well, makes my heart happy. LOL. Leaving Erin is going to feel like losing part of me. I only hope she'll take my phone calls and not be too mad at me when I move - because I'll definitely need her!!!
I'm sad to leave my friend Kelli. When Wayne left for Iraq just before Christmas of 2007, I decided to spend three weeks in Dallas, at my mom's house. Since the house was going to be empty for so long, I thought it prudent to let a neighbor know. We'd briefly met the across the street neighbors at our housewarming party earlier that year. I waited for Jack to go to sleep, then threw on my shoes, grabbed the monitor and ran across the street. I think we ended up talking for an hour and a half. I almost got frostbite on my sockless toes. Haha! We spent the entire next year freezing our butts off every night, talking for hours at a time, after Jack had gone to sleep... sitting in my carport. I honestly think she knows more about me (and vice versa) than Wayne!! There's something about talking into the wee hours of the morning that loosens the tongue... and even more so when you're drinking margaritas!! Our friendship was instrumental in helping me recover from the depression that began as postpartum and snowballed. The year Wayne spent in Iraq would have been intolerable had it not been for Kelli. We lost touch for a bit when our hubbies returned from Iraq and life, as it does sometimes, got crazy. We've only recently reconnected and to leave now, when we've not fully gotten back into our groove, is so very hard.
Which brings me to my next bit of heartache - missed possibilities. There are women who've just recently come into my life as friends. Women I was looking forward to getting to know better, to becoming friends with. Or better friends. It's always so sad for me to think about what may have been.
Then, there's my house. Our first house. The house where Jack learned to walk and talk. Where we had his first birthday party... and his second... and his third. Where he threw up for the first time, ate real food, learned to ride his bike, moved from swing to crib to toddler bed to full size bed. Where he peed on the floor and splashed around in it during the potty training days. Where he and Wayne have staged some mighty battles with their swords and dart guns. The house I've spent the past 3 1/2 years tweaking and decorating and fixing up and getting just right and planning other changes to make it even better. The home that has been ours - just ours - as we struggled to find our footing as a newly married couple with a tiny baby, miles and miles from our support system, our extended families.
So, that's why, even though I've been lamenting the lack of grass and humidity, moaning and groaning about how hard it is to be away from family, pining for the familiar highways and biways of Texas... all of this is why I'm sad about finally having the chance to move to Texas. Next blog? Why I'm flat-out terrified of moving to Texas.
It should be a moment of total peace and happiness. But all I want to do is cry because it's very likely we'll be leaving this place in just a few months. (Weeks for Wayne.) I'm not sure if it's the thought of how much hard, hard work is ahead - packing up the house, cleaning up the yard, making the house "show ready" - and keeping it that way. Maybe it's the thought of starting all over in a new town - making new friends, finding new playmates for Jack, finding a house, getting a new routine. But the part that makes my throat tighten and my eyes fill up is thinking about leaving my friends. Which, when said out loud (or typed), feels a bit juvenile. However, the truth is the truth. And I've been in this very situation so many times before. Moving away, making promises to stay friends... saying how it's so easy these days - phone calls, Facebook, emails... it'll all ensure our friendship stays the same, right? But it won't. It never does. You lose touch, you get busy, you move on with your life and as much as you try to keep in touch, it's never quite the same because everyone changes with time and even the smallest change can impact the way you interact with one another, the way your friendship works. Not that I'm giving up - I never give up on my friends.
I'm sad about leaving my Erin. We met when she came out to visit her husband last year - he'd moved here to start a new job while she stayed back in Arkansas to sell their house. (Sound familiar?) When we left his little BBQ, I told Wayne, "I really liked Erin. I'm not sure but I think we could be good friends." I'd been in this little self-imposed shell for a long time. Depressed and disinterested in really making any friends. Not myself at all. But Erin moved here and we had a little gathering to welcome her and her kids to this mountainous desert-land. It was the beginning of my dive back into the world of socializing. I remembered who I was and what I love - having lots of friends around, throwing parties, being a social butterfly. We did that instant click thing when she moved here for good - that feeling of "hey - I know you. You're my friend." Having Erin as my friend helped me regain myself and encouraged me to get more active in the playgroup I'd joined for Jack. Suddenly, the moms who'd seemed distant and disinterested were speaking to me more. I was hosting parties at my house and making friends with all kinds of different people. Some of them I'd met before, but being in my insular little depressed bubble, I'm positive I'd given them no reason to be friends with me. I'm sure I seemed distant and disinterested - more so than I viewed those moms to be in the playgroup.
I think I've laughed more in the last year with Erin... done more... been more... than in the first two years I lived here. She's not only inspired me to get back out there but also to keep my house cleaner, my budget tighter, and my creativity sparkier. (I know, but I had to do an "er" word!) I've made jewelry and wreaths and cooked/baked things like never before. I know it's not ALL the miracle of Erin Layne - but it's because I'm happy and fulfilled and inspired. A big part of that is having a friend who understands how I feel before I finish my sentence. Who just GETS me. It's awesome and, well, makes my heart happy. LOL. Leaving Erin is going to feel like losing part of me. I only hope she'll take my phone calls and not be too mad at me when I move - because I'll definitely need her!!!
I'm sad to leave my friend Kelli. When Wayne left for Iraq just before Christmas of 2007, I decided to spend three weeks in Dallas, at my mom's house. Since the house was going to be empty for so long, I thought it prudent to let a neighbor know. We'd briefly met the across the street neighbors at our housewarming party earlier that year. I waited for Jack to go to sleep, then threw on my shoes, grabbed the monitor and ran across the street. I think we ended up talking for an hour and a half. I almost got frostbite on my sockless toes. Haha! We spent the entire next year freezing our butts off every night, talking for hours at a time, after Jack had gone to sleep... sitting in my carport. I honestly think she knows more about me (and vice versa) than Wayne!! There's something about talking into the wee hours of the morning that loosens the tongue... and even more so when you're drinking margaritas!! Our friendship was instrumental in helping me recover from the depression that began as postpartum and snowballed. The year Wayne spent in Iraq would have been intolerable had it not been for Kelli. We lost touch for a bit when our hubbies returned from Iraq and life, as it does sometimes, got crazy. We've only recently reconnected and to leave now, when we've not fully gotten back into our groove, is so very hard.
Which brings me to my next bit of heartache - missed possibilities. There are women who've just recently come into my life as friends. Women I was looking forward to getting to know better, to becoming friends with. Or better friends. It's always so sad for me to think about what may have been.
Then, there's my house. Our first house. The house where Jack learned to walk and talk. Where we had his first birthday party... and his second... and his third. Where he threw up for the first time, ate real food, learned to ride his bike, moved from swing to crib to toddler bed to full size bed. Where he peed on the floor and splashed around in it during the potty training days. Where he and Wayne have staged some mighty battles with their swords and dart guns. The house I've spent the past 3 1/2 years tweaking and decorating and fixing up and getting just right and planning other changes to make it even better. The home that has been ours - just ours - as we struggled to find our footing as a newly married couple with a tiny baby, miles and miles from our support system, our extended families.
So, that's why, even though I've been lamenting the lack of grass and humidity, moaning and groaning about how hard it is to be away from family, pining for the familiar highways and biways of Texas... all of this is why I'm sad about finally having the chance to move to Texas. Next blog? Why I'm flat-out terrified of moving to Texas.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Day two of detox diet
Day two was yesterday and I was not so very good! I got super discouraged by my mouth's complete and utter rejection of Greek yogurt. Seriously - barely able to swallow the tiny bite I had! Maybe it's an acquired taste or something, but it'll take me a while to acquire it. I'm not much of a yogurt person to begin with - will only eat Yoplait strawberry banana flavor - so I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I was also discouraged by our lack luster Tuesday night meal - the salmon was good, but the veggies were sooooo blah. Generally I love grilled veggies but after I tried to eat them, I realized we usually put a little butter on them to enhance the flavor. LOL. I ended up hungry and ate more turkey chili.
Then, the ultimate test - one which should NOT be attempted the second day of going whole foods: macaroni and cheese. I had no bread in the house (in the hopes it would keep me honest) so I had nothing to feed Jack and his friend Gabriella! Except the emergency Kraft Mac n Cheese I keep in the pantry. After eating my not so great meal of egg white scramble (with pico de gallo), I couldn't resist the leftover mac n cheese... it was just there, in the pot, calling out to me. So I caved.
Last night, we had a pretty good stir-fry: chicken, peas and carrots, mushrooms, ginger, green onions, and basil with brown rice. But we had our friends stay for dinner, so the brown rice I'd made Tuesday wasn't enough. In an effort to save time, I made Jasmine rice. And last night? After Wayne and Jack went to bed? I ate some. With butter. And salt. So yummy but soooo wrong. Oh - and my Hanson's Diet Tangerine Lime. Which is made with natural ingredients but is still a no-no. LOL
This morning, though, I woke up and decided I should weigh myself - if it was good, I'd be motivated to get back on track. If it was bad, I'd be even MORE motivated. Win-win, right?! Holy whole foods, high fiber diet, Batman!! Was it ever a WIN!!! I've lost 4.8 lbs since Monday morning. And while I've not been chowing on super bad foods, I also haven't been strictly good, so I am SUPER SURPRISED. And elated and excited and so so so happy! (Not that you can tell.) So here I go on day three!! Turkey lettuce wrap for lunch and Spicy Napa slaw with shrimp for dinner. Yummm!!!
Then, the ultimate test - one which should NOT be attempted the second day of going whole foods: macaroni and cheese. I had no bread in the house (in the hopes it would keep me honest) so I had nothing to feed Jack and his friend Gabriella! Except the emergency Kraft Mac n Cheese I keep in the pantry. After eating my not so great meal of egg white scramble (with pico de gallo), I couldn't resist the leftover mac n cheese... it was just there, in the pot, calling out to me. So I caved.
Last night, we had a pretty good stir-fry: chicken, peas and carrots, mushrooms, ginger, green onions, and basil with brown rice. But we had our friends stay for dinner, so the brown rice I'd made Tuesday wasn't enough. In an effort to save time, I made Jasmine rice. And last night? After Wayne and Jack went to bed? I ate some. With butter. And salt. So yummy but soooo wrong. Oh - and my Hanson's Diet Tangerine Lime. Which is made with natural ingredients but is still a no-no. LOL
This morning, though, I woke up and decided I should weigh myself - if it was good, I'd be motivated to get back on track. If it was bad, I'd be even MORE motivated. Win-win, right?! Holy whole foods, high fiber diet, Batman!! Was it ever a WIN!!! I've lost 4.8 lbs since Monday morning. And while I've not been chowing on super bad foods, I also haven't been strictly good, so I am SUPER SURPRISED. And elated and excited and so so so happy! (Not that you can tell.) So here I go on day three!! Turkey lettuce wrap for lunch and Spicy Napa slaw with shrimp for dinner. Yummm!!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Day one of detox diet
So, yesterday, we ate better but not strictly according to the detox diet plan. I had Fiber One Caramel Delights cereal with 1% milk - waaaay yummier than I expected, btw - for breakfast. Then Jack and I headed 30 minutes away to Benson's Super Walmart for the grocery shopping. I was hoping to save some money, since I normally do when I shop there. However, I quickly proved the "healthy eating is expensive" theory. One week's groceries cost me more than my normal two week shopping. And we really AREN'T that big on processed foods for dinners. By the time we got home, I was thoroughly discouraged and very happy we put off the diet for another day. I had no energy for making a healthy lunch and just wanted to grab something quick and yummy. For lunch, I had four cheese ravioli with basil pesto. And a Lunchable for a snack. Dinner was whole wheat linguine with pesto and shrimp. Oh - and garlic Texas Toast. Which, for some of you healthy eaters, sounds horrible but for us? That's an improvement. Until last night when I got hit with a potato chip craving and to-ho-tally caved. Luckily, there weren't many in there.
(Ugh! Just writing about them makes me want!!)
Today is the first official day of the detox. We weighed in yesterday morning and I just couldn't resist today - I lost 1.8 lbs already!! A lot of that is probably just drinking so much water and staying away from the soda yesterday. But what a motivator!!! After taking Jack to preschool, I went to Safeway for the few things they didn't have a Walmart, came home and ate some Fiber One cereal and a nectarine. (They smelled sooooo good at Safeway!) Then I got started making my turkey chili for Wayne and I to eat for lunch. I had serious doubts about this recipe. I mean, chili made from carrots, zucchini, and squash?! What?! I thought it'd be mushy and weird but let me tell you - it is FAB-U-LOUS!! And so so so pretty when you're cooking it!
You serve it with a half cup of brown rice and a quarter of an avocado and the flavors just all meld together and it's yum. The veggies are crisp tender, the turkey is flavorful and the avocado melts and cools. Mmmm.
I'm just so happy to have found out that I can totally make super healthy foods that I still love! Because the foodie in me will never be happy treating food as "a chore" or "just nourishment." Let's hope the rest of the recipes I got from Glamour are as good!!
(Ugh! Just writing about them makes me want!!)
Today is the first official day of the detox. We weighed in yesterday morning and I just couldn't resist today - I lost 1.8 lbs already!! A lot of that is probably just drinking so much water and staying away from the soda yesterday. But what a motivator!!! After taking Jack to preschool, I went to Safeway for the few things they didn't have a Walmart, came home and ate some Fiber One cereal and a nectarine. (They smelled sooooo good at Safeway!) Then I got started making my turkey chili for Wayne and I to eat for lunch. I had serious doubts about this recipe. I mean, chili made from carrots, zucchini, and squash?! What?! I thought it'd be mushy and weird but let me tell you - it is FAB-U-LOUS!! And so so so pretty when you're cooking it!
You serve it with a half cup of brown rice and a quarter of an avocado and the flavors just all meld together and it's yum. The veggies are crisp tender, the turkey is flavorful and the avocado melts and cools. Mmmm.
I'm just so happy to have found out that I can totally make super healthy foods that I still love! Because the foodie in me will never be happy treating food as "a chore" or "just nourishment." Let's hope the rest of the recipes I got from Glamour are as good!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Fat bottom
I was going to say "rock bottom" but my ass has gotten so big I thought this title was more appropriate.
I am currently at a weight higher than I've ever been. Higher than I ever thought I could be or would allow myself to be. I'm the size now that I recall telling one of my friends or sisters, "If I ever get that big, please shoot me." Well, no one's whipping out their Glocks but I gotta do SOMETHING... NOW.
I'm tired of having excuses and reasons. I'm exhausted by my own faulty reasoning. I am over it.
I've been trying, for some time now, to get us away from processed foods and eating more whole foods. The more I think about it, the more I hate the idea of ingesting all the chemicals you find in processed foods. Added to that the unnecessary sugars and salts scare me. It's definitely harder than you'd think to break the addiction to processed, refined foods. Especially, for me, the crackers, white breads, etc. As much as I do enjoy whole grains done right, it's fairly expensive to eat that way. Not to mention the time it takes to become accustomed to the flavors and textures.
This week, however, we're jump-starting our resolve to eat healthier. Of all places, I found a great plan in Glamour magazine. I just don't see how "detoxing" can be possible with the chemical solutions found at GNC or similar places. To me, detoxing is about getting rid of the chemicals in my body. So, the whole foods plan I found in Glamour works perfectly!! Lean proteins (egg whites, lean chicken and pork, fish/shellfish), tons of fruits and veggies and herbs and spices (sans salt!), low fat dairy (Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, skim milk), and limited whole grains (brown rice, oatmeal, quinoa). No breads. Cereal has to be 9g of fiber or more. Nuts, avocado, olive oil, and canola oil for fats. It's one week of this, then we can add in whole grain breads and pastas, a little more dairy and red meat. But I really feel this will help us restart our bodies and minds.
Plus, being that Jack will be at preschool two mornings per week, I am resolved to go to the gym during that time. My plan is to get up early, make breakfast for Wayne and I, drop Jack at school, then go straight to the gym for a workout (provided by my much missed and loved ex-trainer Jen E!) that includes cardio and strength training. After that, I'll come home, shower and clean until it's time to pick up the monster. The afternoons will be mine for relaxing while he naps. (Fingers crossed on that part!)
I had Wayne take Biggest Loser style pics tonight - Sports bra, stretchy pants. It's bad. Soooo bad. But it's motivation. And when I have good pics to compare it to, I'll be stoked to post them on here. But not until then! Perhaps posting the picture for the world (ahem, all 4 of you) to see would mean more accountability, but my self-esteem surely can't take that. Nor would posting the evil number. So we'll just say my current goal is losing 3 lbs by next Monday. After that, my goal is 15 lbs by the time my dad comes to visit on June 25. And Halloween this year? Totally slutty costume (after I've ditched whatever I wear to take Jack trick or treating, of course)! Now someone will have to throw a party for me to wear the slutty costume. Haha. I'm thinking a fairy slut. I've always loved fairy costumes. :D
But I get ahead of myself. Envisioning the end goal has yet to help me so far. Instead, I'll be focusing on weekly progress in weight, energy, and strength. Of course, the way my clothes fit will be a big indicator, as well. So... yeah. That's the latest. :)
I am currently at a weight higher than I've ever been. Higher than I ever thought I could be or would allow myself to be. I'm the size now that I recall telling one of my friends or sisters, "If I ever get that big, please shoot me." Well, no one's whipping out their Glocks but I gotta do SOMETHING... NOW.
I'm tired of having excuses and reasons. I'm exhausted by my own faulty reasoning. I am over it.
I've been trying, for some time now, to get us away from processed foods and eating more whole foods. The more I think about it, the more I hate the idea of ingesting all the chemicals you find in processed foods. Added to that the unnecessary sugars and salts scare me. It's definitely harder than you'd think to break the addiction to processed, refined foods. Especially, for me, the crackers, white breads, etc. As much as I do enjoy whole grains done right, it's fairly expensive to eat that way. Not to mention the time it takes to become accustomed to the flavors and textures.
This week, however, we're jump-starting our resolve to eat healthier. Of all places, I found a great plan in Glamour magazine. I just don't see how "detoxing" can be possible with the chemical solutions found at GNC or similar places. To me, detoxing is about getting rid of the chemicals in my body. So, the whole foods plan I found in Glamour works perfectly!! Lean proteins (egg whites, lean chicken and pork, fish/shellfish), tons of fruits and veggies and herbs and spices (sans salt!), low fat dairy (Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, skim milk), and limited whole grains (brown rice, oatmeal, quinoa). No breads. Cereal has to be 9g of fiber or more. Nuts, avocado, olive oil, and canola oil for fats. It's one week of this, then we can add in whole grain breads and pastas, a little more dairy and red meat. But I really feel this will help us restart our bodies and minds.
Plus, being that Jack will be at preschool two mornings per week, I am resolved to go to the gym during that time. My plan is to get up early, make breakfast for Wayne and I, drop Jack at school, then go straight to the gym for a workout (provided by my much missed and loved ex-trainer Jen E!) that includes cardio and strength training. After that, I'll come home, shower and clean until it's time to pick up the monster. The afternoons will be mine for relaxing while he naps. (Fingers crossed on that part!)
I had Wayne take Biggest Loser style pics tonight - Sports bra, stretchy pants. It's bad. Soooo bad. But it's motivation. And when I have good pics to compare it to, I'll be stoked to post them on here. But not until then! Perhaps posting the picture for the world (ahem, all 4 of you) to see would mean more accountability, but my self-esteem surely can't take that. Nor would posting the evil number. So we'll just say my current goal is losing 3 lbs by next Monday. After that, my goal is 15 lbs by the time my dad comes to visit on June 25. And Halloween this year? Totally slutty costume (after I've ditched whatever I wear to take Jack trick or treating, of course)! Now someone will have to throw a party for me to wear the slutty costume. Haha. I'm thinking a fairy slut. I've always loved fairy costumes. :D
But I get ahead of myself. Envisioning the end goal has yet to help me so far. Instead, I'll be focusing on weekly progress in weight, energy, and strength. Of course, the way my clothes fit will be a big indicator, as well. So... yeah. That's the latest. :)
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