Okay... so, I had a hard time meeting new people when I moved to this crappy little desert/mountain town. Partially, because I didn't want to - I was depressed and didn't care. Also, because I'd always had something like school or work that I went to everyday and met new people who would introduce me to other new people and so on and so forth. Everyone said, "Join a mommy group! It's online and you meet for playdates!" Well, um... no thanks! I had a 2 month old. How does a infant who can't crawl, talk or play go on a playdate??? It'd be different if it was with moms I knew. I would have ROCKED some playdates with Audy and Marcus. ;D But that's because those kinds of playdates are primarily to chat with your friend while your baby lays on the floor so you don't go out of your mind with the absolute boredom that sets in if you are consumed with changing diapers and feeding a baby for 9 -10 hours a day with no adult interaction. Not really something you do well with complete strangers.
Anyway, fast forward to earlier this year. February, I believe. Jack was 2 1/2 (or almost), he loved to play, and I had lost last year's friend/lifeline to her recently home from Iraq husband. I figured I should meet some new people. Jack should learn to play with others. Maybe we could both make a friend! (Also, I was recovered from earlier depression which definitely helps in the not being socially retarded aspect of making friends.)
I looked around and found a group. Seemed like a good choice. I started going to a few of the playdates/outings, but really didn't click with anyone. I was almost sure the lack of overtures/conversations including myself was due to my shyness. I figured as I became more comfortable with expressing myself, both in the online forum and in person, they'd start talking to me more. Hm... but then it was months and months of people barely registering my existence much less speaking to me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've met a few moms who are very nice. I've been to the movies and out to lunch with one, had some pretty good conversations at outings with another, and exchange friendly "HI!!'s" when I see another. But mostly, MOSTLY, the other moms give me a quick "yeah, hi, how are ya, isn't jack cute" kind of greeting and then go on to chat endlessly with anyone else. I really was thinking it was me. Seriously. As in, maybe I'm just not mommy group material.
Then, a new member came along. She looked interesting and fun. I liked her glasses. (Yes, seriously.) So, I invited her to meet me at the park. We chatted. We discussed the group and the definite snobbery. Finally!! I realize it's not me at all. I had been so removed from the cliquey-ness of high school and even work that I failed to recognize these certain moms for who they were - the so-called popular kids. I didn't meet some invisible, unspoken criteria yet I didn't cause problems so I've been tolerated. But always pushed to the outside. Not that I really minded too much - I mean, when they were chatting away, it was generally about things that made my eyes glaze over.
My husband and I were talking about it tonight... specifically about one mom who is fairly new but has just found out she's moving. For all the other moving moms, they host big farewells and such. For this one, she's hosting her own farewell thing, at her house - which I'm thinking must be a pain in the middle of packing up, since she's moving next week! - and so far, I'm the only one who's signed up to go to this. Granted, it's a little last minute but come on! When someone set up a tour of the firestation, I swear there were 20 kids there. When another mom (one of the "in" crowd) hosted an ice cream social at the last minute, everyone came to that. So what's the deal now? She's not cool enough? She came to almost every one of the playdates, she interacted with more people than I've seen anyone else do, she's offered to help anybody anytime with anything they post, she comments constantly on the forum. Now, maybe I'm being rash and all 15 of the normal attendees are busy tomorrow. Maybe they're all sick, or have plans, or have hives, or something. But that seems a bit odd to me. No? I'm a bitch?? Well, there you go. ;)
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