Self improvement

Uggghhhh!!!  Hokey!!  New Year's Resolutions!!  Blech, blerg, blum.  I'm not sure what blum is but it popped out so there ya go.
Of course, I'm doing some rethinking, refocusing and reorganizing now.  It's the beginning of a new year; the best, most symbolic time to reinvent.  To start with a clean slate.  I've got some serious changes to make - both internal and external.  I've been working with this amazing counselor on why I consistently do things that negatively impact my life.  Things such as remaining in relationships that have become toxic.  Not going to the gym when it'd be soooo good for me, physically and emotionally.  Letting people take advantage of me.  Not saying, "Hey - that SUCKED when you did XYZ and now I'm hurt and upset."  Allowing myself to feel bad, sad, mad, upset, stressed, what-have-you about other people's shit.  And it's not just about other people - it's about why I want to get organized, get fit, DO things and simply... don't. 
I'm making progress.  It's hard.  Harder than I thought.  Here I'm thinking I'm a pretty upfront kind of person - emotionally in touch with my innermost self... and I'm not!!!  I hold back when I should stand up for myself.  For fear of making waves.  Of rocking the boat.  For fear of other people's reactions - also known as other people's shit.  Apparently, I'm not as forgiving as I thought, either.  Probably because I finally AM taking a stand and not allowing people to treat me in any other fashion that I'd treat them.  Huh.  How novel an idea!!  To expect from others what I expect from myself!  Wow! 
Anywho...  this year, I'm taking on some projects that will externally express my desire for less internal chaos.  First, I'm going to organize the hell out of this house.  The clutter will no longer be an issue because there won't be a single thing that comes into this house that doesn't have a specific place.  I'm taking control of the external chaos.  That's right - this house will be my bitch. 
Secondly, to further my enlightenment, I've signed on for a challenge.  It's the 2011 Siesta Scripture Memory Team challenge to memorize 24 Bible verses in 12 months.  It's a great way for me to A)remember that there's something bigger than me out there, B)become more in tune with my current emotions and how to address different issues, and C)challenge my bored, slow brain.  There's definitely nothing wrong with inserting a little divinity into my life!!!  
Thirdly, I am taking back control of our finances.  Not that anyone took control of them from me.  More that I relinquished control and they got out of control.  Paying off bills, finding the best deals on the things we need/want, building up that "emergency savings account" we've had forever, saving up for vacations/Christmas/etc.  Being in control of our finances will go a long way toward reducing stress and...
That's a big theme for this year.  Living in the now, focusing on the good things/people in my life, not allowing anyone to treat me with any less than I deserve.  In short, 2011 will be The Year of Bliss around here!!!  Wishing all of you the best year ever and the chutzpah to go after your dreams, goals and wishes.