Confrontation-averse does NOT equal wrong.

I hate confrontation.  Seriously, hate it.  My heart beats really fast, my blood rushes through my head, I feel weak and unsteady and just plain stupid.  I can't think straight.  Which makes it hard to make my point.  And I end up "losing" the conversation.  Not that winning is what it's about with me, but it's about standing up for myself.  Apparently, I'm not very good at it.  It doesn't help that my every effort to do so is thwarted by my own anxieties and I end up looking worse than when I began.
Most of the time, I just avoid, avoid, avoid.  I will take your abuse and remember that it probably is not even about me.  I like to believe that if I'm in a relationship worth being in, and the other person has a problem with me, she/he will state it without me having to ask.  Sadly, there are times and relationships where that will not work.  Where I must take a stand.  The time leading up to that goes like this for me: first, I consider everything I'd like to say.  Then, I try to imagine what the other person will say.  As this is going on in my head, my heart starts to race and my hands begin to shake.  I feel lightheaded, nauseated, and not a little crazy.  Because the whole point is that I feel wronged - so why am I scared?!  What have I done?  What can the other person do to me?  Obviously, it's my own doubts and insecurities holding me back.  I wouldn't call it a "confrontation" if I'd done something wrong and needed to apologize.  I'm just not like that.  Apologizing so much easier for me than asking someone to stop hurting me.  Sad, but true.
The only person I've been comfortable confronting is my husband.  (Thank God, right?  haha!)  It's probably because I am so secure in our relationship, so sure in the knowledge he loves and respects me - and I him.  I remain calm, I don't cry or yell (mostly), I'm not nervous.  I make the points I need to make and know that I'm not being foolish, dramatic, etc.
Ohhhh.  That's interesting.  I do have a serious fear of people accusing me of drama.  I have tried, for so long, to avoid being a dramatic person.  Even in dramatic situations.  Which, of course, goes back to being belittled for having feelings at various points in my life.  My feelings were wrong and I was making a big deal over nothing.
So, what I'm lacking going into confrontation is confidence.  And the only person who can control that is me.